California's ballot is always full of crazy propositions, an attempt at direct democracy in our representative state government.
This year is no different, and by far the most contested and controversial proposition is the one numbered "8," a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage.
This weekend, demonstrators were out with signs on street corners, pusing the sandwich board advertisers for "going out of business" sales off their normal turf.
Right at the freeway off ramp was a group of several dozen "yes on 8" supporters, one shouting propaganda with a bull horn. On another corner, sans bullhorn, was a group of young people with "no on 8" signs. One homemade sign read "How come I didn't get to vote on your marriage?"
This proposition hasn't had the emotional impact on me that it has had on many others. The Mormons and the Catholics are shaking in fear that "marriage" will be "destroyed" if gay men and women are allowed to marry. They are sure their children will be forced to read books about homosexual marriage in school, and some even think that their children will be "recruited into the gay lifestyle" if 8 passes, as if there is some kind of gay army ready to take over the country. They say marriage was "instituted by God," as the union of a man and a woman and they think allowing gay marriage would ruin the institution somehow, though they don't say how.
On the other side are those who see this as a civil rights issue and something whose time has come. My children are in this group. Having had gay friends, and having grown up thinking being gay or straight is simply one aspect of who one is, they see no problem with gay marriage and in fact can become quite livid when they see "yes on 8" crowds. They see it as prejudice, hate, and discrimination. They see marriage as a civil institution, and so something which can be changed according to the needs or wishes of society.
My view is simply this: I don't see how allowing gay citizens to marry in civil ceremonies, and still allowing churches to decide whether or not they will allow gay congregants to have their marriages blessed in a church, can possibly hurt marriage.
First of all, the percentage of gay citizens is very small, ranging from 4 to 10 percent of the population. Second, marriage is well on its way to being destroyed by heterosexuals with divorce rates at 50%. If people are concerned about saving marriage, they should start with those who are allowed to marry now - heterosexuals. They are the ones who are destroying marriage.
Yes, allowing gay men and lesbians to marry will change marriage, at least civil marriage, but there is no reason to believe it will destroy marriage itself. (How does one measure that anyway?) Gay marriage has been legal for many years in Massachusetts and I see no evidence that marriage has been destroyed there. In fact, with the ability to marry, many gay relationships may become more stable, and there will be fewer gay men and lesbians who hide their true orientation and marry someone of the opposite gender in order to try to fit in, only to have their marriages end in disaster.
I find this proposition to be one more example of conservative fear and fearmongering, and though the idea of gay marriage is something many people will struggle to get used to, this is the way society progresses. Change is never easy, but there is usually far less to fear than conservatives think there is.
Conservatives have not convinced me that any harm will come to me, my children, or marriage, if gay men and lesbians are allowed to marry. On the other hand, inserting discrimination into the state constitution seems like a very un-American idea to me.
So I will be voting "no" on Proposition 8.
