I just looked at the last time I posted (five days ago) and realize some of you may be wondering where I've been.
My father in law died last week and this Wednesday was the funeral. He would have loved the send-off. His six children and almost all of his grandchildren and many great grandchildren were there. A fire truck accompanied the funeral procession of this well loved retired Battalion Chief. The party afterwards was lovely, with many stories about him told with love and happy memories. My grandson Sean didn't attend the funeral, but came to the gathering afterwards and asked why everyone has a "party" when someone dies. "Did you expect that everyone would be crying and sad?" I asked. He said "yes." It was an opportunity to tell him that when someone dies, we cry, but we also get together to celebrate his life. He then went on to eat everything in sight and chase after some of his cousins.
The funeral was only the midpoint of a dreadful week. On Monday, my mother awoke with a terrible pain in her side that got progressively worse. I took her to her blood test and then on to her primary care doctor who did a number of tests and was wonderful to her. She even put her in a wheelchair and walked her out to the car herself when everyone else had gone out to lunch and there was no nurse to help us out. We went home with pain pills and antibiotics and then her oncologist called with her lab results and said he wanted us to come in the next day. My husband and I spent the night to watch over her and help her and my disabled dad, and got little sleep.
On Tuesday, we visited the oncologist in the morning, who told us my mom's chemo was no longer working and her leukemia cells were increasing. Her pain, he thought, could be her spleen, although by the time he saw us the pain was going away. It could have been a slight tear in the spleen, a bleed brought on by her low platelet count. She needed a platelet transfusion that day as well. In the evening, my two sons from Seattle came in and my San Diego son picked them up at the airport and brought them here, then we all talked for a while and got to bed late. I had arranged for a caregiver to spend the night and the next day with my parents so I could go to the funeral.
I left the funeral early to be with my parents, and wait for my husband and sons to finish visiting and join me there later. My Seattle sons had not seen their grandmother since January and they had a nice, though short, visit.
On Thursday, I took my mom to her blood test and then my husband and I took our sons to the airport, came home and collapsed. I awoke at 1:30 and couldn't get back to sleep.
On Friday, a hospice nurse came to see my mom, dad and I to talk about what they could provide. And then my mom went to the hospital for a transfusion and I came home for a much needed nap.
There is much more to say about what happened at the party after the funeral, in terms of political arguments that were started with my husband and one son because family members (conservative republican McCain supporters) saw our Obama bumper stickers and felt the need to challenge us. I wasn't there when it happened, but word got back to me. I will have much more to say about that tomorrow, after a night's sleep.
Don't give up on me or my blog. I'm going through a lot, but the one bright spot is that when I was up in the wee hours this morning, the news channels were showing clips from last night's Saturday Night Live special. Oh...and Barack Obama has a huge lead in the polls.
I can endure a lot if I know our country is finally going to be in the hands of a wise and gifted leader.
I am beginning to hope and while my husband and I are losing our parents, members of the "Greatest Generation" I see good things for the next generation, things I can't wait to write about.
